Pray, v. To ask that the laws of the universe be annulled in behalf of a single petitioner confessedly unworthy.
Pre-Adamites, n. One of an experimental and apparently unsatisfactory race that ante-dated Creation and lived under conditions not easily conceived. … Little is known of them beyond the fact that they supplied Cain with a wife and theologians with a controversy.
Potable, adj. Suitable for drinking. Water is said to be potable; indeed, some declare it our natural beverage, although even they find it palatable only when suffering from the recurrent disorder known as thirst, for which it is a medicine. Upon nothing has so great and diligent ingenuity been brought to bear in all ages in in all countries, except the most uncivilized, as upon the invention of substitutes for water. To hold that this general aversion to that liquid has no basis in the preservative instinct of the race is to be unscientific – and without science we are as the snakes and toads.
Positive, adj. Mistaken at the top of oneʼs voice.
Posterity, n. An appellate court which reverses the judgment of a popular author’s contemporaries, the apppellant being his obscure competitor.
Polygamy, n. A house of atonement, or expiatory chapel, fitted with several stools of repentance, as distinguished from monogamy, which has but one.
Portable adj. Exposed to a mutable ownership through vicissitudes of possession.
Politeness, n. The most acceptable hypocrisy.
Politics, n. A strife of interests masquerading as a contest of principles. The conduct of public affairs for private advantage.
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Poker, n. A game said to be played with cards for some purpose to this lexicographer unknown.
Police, n. An armed force for protection and participation.
Pocket, n. The cradle of motive and the grave of conscience.
Poetry, n. A form of expression peculiar to the Land beyond the Magazines.
Pleonasm, n. An army of words escorting a corporal of thought.
Plunder, v. To wrest the wealth of A from B and leave C lamenting a vanished opportunity.
Plebeian, n. An ancient Roman who in the blood of his country stained nothing but his hands. Distinguished from the Patrician, who was a saturated solution.
Plebiscite, n. A popular vote to ascertain the will of the sovereign.
Please, v. To lay the foundation for a superstructure of imposition.
Pleasure, n. The least hateful form of dejection.
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